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“A girl once had a crush on me” Artist Desalegn

One or two people’s instagram accounts are more of a monument to their celebrity adoration than they are a window into their best selves. In our opinion, we are not going to make a decision on this matter. We think these captions are perfect for you if you’re constantly posting photos of celebrities you’ve been obsessing about. Because you’re presumably unaware of my identity, I’d like to tell you something. For the past few months, I’ve been unable to get my mind off of you, or at least off the concept of you. Even though you haven’t seen my face in the images you’ve posted online, I’ll admit that you are the only person I ever search for on social media. Although we have not had a face-to-face interaction, I’ve learned a lot about your personality from your interviews. I’ve learned that you like your coffee black, that you play the kazoo, and that your first hamster was named Hamster (which is a very clever name). Even though you haven’t met them, my parents have already formed a love-hate relationship with you. Because you make me happy and they know it, they actively support my crush on you, even though they can’t stand their daughter begging for concert tickets and almost sobbing her eyes out whenever one of your songs comes on the radio. The person who provided me your record, I’m not quite sure. Friends will roll their eyes and say things like “we already know he is hosting the MET Gala, you’ve informed us more than six times” if I mention your name. There is no way out of this for me. I’m a driven individual who takes delight in the accomplishments of others I look up to. Although I realize that I’m just an impressionable adolescent smitten with your image, and that this isn’t “true love” or whatever the term means, I enjoy my adoration for you nonetheless. I don’t know if this will last, but for now, I’m glad I’m obsessed with you. Since it’s a one-way street, you won’t ever love me as much as I “love” you, I loathe myself for saying it.
Depending on how long it takes for me to return to being a “normal” adolescent or find another celebrity to replace you on my walls, I may take down your posters, delete any images of your face and outrageous outfits from my phone, and unfollow your account. For that I’d like to thank you if you ever come across this, because you’ve given me something to talk about, alleviated some of my urge to connect, and unintentionally boosted my standards and given me something to look forward to in a relationship.

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