When I ask a client about their family history, I look for two warning signs. When someone says something is or was terrible, it’s one thing; when they say something is or was perfect, it’s quite another. A family member who fits the following description is a good example of being in balance: My dad is a fascinating man, I guess. He is incredibly kind and loving. He struggled mightily with depression. He tends to see things as half full, but he makes an effort to be more optimistic. The issue is that he’s somewhat set in his ways and very reticent to ask for assistance. But as I was growing up, I distinctly recall how he always supported and loved me. He didn’t frequently attend my events, but I always knew that wasn’t because he didn’t care. He tells it like it is; this is fair-minded. Finding out the types of friendships someone has or has had is crucial. The fact that they still keep a few of their closest friends is the best indication. Moreover, check to see if they have been able to accept some of the blame for their failed relationships. The majority of us, however, appear fairly unattractive to the other at the end of a relationship, so it’s not always entirely true. Find out if your prospective partner makes an effort to be impartial.