I am not going to give up…I will search for her

Therefore, conditional love is more about control than true love. You adore someone or something because you believe you have influence over them. You can no longer love something or someone if you can no longer “control” them. Because of this, conditional love is in no way conducive to a wholesome union. Your partner is trying to make you live up to the ideal they have of you in their brain, not the person you actually are, if they are trying to control how you behave, dress, and feel. Love is unconditional when it accepts you for who you are. This love is not unconditional if it depends on you having a particular position, appearance, or status. Love with conditions is passion. Because of this, sometimes hatred replaces passion when it has run its course. Both of these feelings are extremely powerful, and when a person we care about offends us or otherwise changes our perception of them, our passion can shift to hatred. Because of this, love that is conditional has two sides: passion and loathing. Therefore, neither feeling belongs in a mature, committed relationship. That is not to argue that your partner’s undying devotion is undesirable. Underneath the intensity, there needs to be a solid, enduring, unconditional love to prevent the passion from turning into hatred if the other person doesn’t live up to your expectations.

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