Whether a partner dies suddenly or after a protracted illness, losing a spouse can be traumatic. You’re married one day and unmarried, alone, and grieving the next. You’re undoubtedly feeling overwhelmed and worried about your future as a result of the tremendous emotions, lifestyle changes, and other practical considerations that come with your spouse’s death. Grief will certainly fade with time, and you will begin to establish a new life for yourself. There is no right or wrong way to feel after the death of a partner. Many factors influence your reaction, including the length and happiness of your marriage, the manner in which your spouse died, the age of your children (if you have any), and how dependent you were on one another. Prepare yourself for friends and family who may be speechless, shun you, or try to console you with cliches (such “he’s in a better place”). Although many well-intentioned people are uncomfortable discussing mortality, this does not mean they are unconcerned.
Tell folks close to you what you need (or don’t need) if you can. If, for example, people avoid mentioning your spouse but you really want to talk about them, let them know. Remember that your friends and relatives are hurting as well, and sharing memories of your spouse may provide them solace.
