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I took my children and left from the hospital

Parenting a child with impairments raises the difficulty levels of parenting to a whole new level. It alters a family’s fundamental structure and creates immeasurable complications for everyone involved. Because of what your child cannot do, there may be unmet milestones, activities you must avoid, and even experiences that are withheld. I sometimes question whether I’m doing this correctly because I’ve come to realize that my journey is never perceived as a straight line. The difficulties that come with parenting Bella have been very difficult for our family, but the difficulties also make the victories even sweeter. What is considered a weakness actually has an incredible strength. And I’m still learning this every single darn day. I’m mentally going over my to-do list of emails and phone calls I need to make to make sure Bella’s treatments and appointments are up to date as I’m driving to work and eating my breakfast. While squeezing in some time to brush up on a financing application for adapted equipment Bella needs for her daily living, I ponder whether I remembered to sign Petie’s agenda and remind him to carry his library book. In addition to cleaning up after dinner and preparing lunches, I put in a few hours each week updating Bella’s IEP and programs to make sure that everyone involved in her education is on the same page. There are days when I scream out in despair and brokenness because it is never easy to let go of the idea of what parenting will be like. The grins of my children constantly encourage me to keep going even on the days when I feel useless and alone. I understand.

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