When one partner wants to communicate something and the other believes you should keep it inside, even small annoyances often escalate into heated arguments. On the other hand, these conflicts can be resolved before they become too great and hazardous when there is agreement among individuals regarding acceptable meta-emotional styles. Conflict is inevitable, but you should look for a partner with whom you can share an emotional language. So there’s good communication. Longer-lasting marriages are typically seen between partners who complain to each other the most and over the least significant issues. Couples with strong negativity thresholds, on the other hand, who only voice grievances over significant issues. If you’re still not arguing three years into your relationship, it’s probably unhealthy. You will no longer be holding in your farts at that time. You have complete intimacy. You’ve smelled their morning breath and seen where they have hair. You have nothing to conceal. Therefore, not battling is frequently an indication of withdrawal. In some respects, you could consider bickering and complaining to be just ways of expressing your concern for the other person. Debating is a normal and natural behavior; it’s not a harbinger of approaching catastrophe. Every partnership has problems. So, if you haven’t fought in years, you must not be talking to each other.
