I will not marry anyone else even after my divorce

Marriage is a huge commitment that takes up a significant portion of your life. A fulfilling marriage can entail having a partner with whom you can share all of life’s blessings and challenges. However, if your marriage is unhappy, it’s a completely different matter. Finding joy and fulfillment in your daily life while in an unhappy marriage can be difficult. Being dissatisfied with your life is different from being unhappy in your marriage. Unfortunately, a lot of people mix the two up. Look no further than the most recent divorce rates to see how common unhappy marriages are. However, for every couple that opts to get a divorce, a number of others choose to stay together despite their unhappy circumstances. And some even work to strengthen their marriages. Going into a “mode” while remaining in an unhappy marriage can help you keep swimming, just as holding your breath allows you to swim underwater while retaining oxygen. Staying married despite being unhappy is a very individual choice. And for some couples, it can actually work as long as the marriage is not abusive and the partners treat one another with reasonable respect. Holding onto the hope that things will improve is one of the most painful aspects of an unhappy marriage. To be emotionally distant from your partner is to be detached. Consider it entering the “roommate zone.” You let go of that expectation as well as the impact all the irritations and frustrations have on you when you practice detachment. You deal with all the regular domestic, financial, and family matters but no longer allow yourself to be sucked into the conflict’s emotional turbulence or disappointment’s heartache. One of the clients I worked with provided an illustration of detachment by stating that she was no longer allowing her husband to make her cry.

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