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We are thinking about my twin brother

Shock was the first feeling I went through. I overheard the ultrasound tech at my eight-week appointment casually stating, “Baby A is…” How the hell about it? As I lay there, I chuckled in shock. As the weeks went by, the shock gradually subsided and was replaced by grief, overwhelm, and late-night internet searches about disappearing twin syndrome as I came to terms with the possibility that, in addition to my toddler daughter, I would likely give birth to two babies and have to care for two newborns. I was lamenting the life I believed I had, the life I knew, and the life I had planned. The grieving process required time to process and was genuine and true. As my family and I got ready to welcome two babies into our life, acceptance started to emerge. We informed friends and family of the news. We considered the practicalities of having two babies in our house and investigated the possibility of fitting three carseats across the back of our vehicle. We discussed how to manage life with twins and a toddler in a third-floor walk-up apartment, as well as how to go on walks with three little children. I was able to connect with the acceptance I felt by taking action that was in line with our reality. At the outset of my journey as a parent of multiples, I experienced all three of these emotions simultaneously: shock, sadness, and acceptance.

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