A new guy has caught your attention, and he appears to be interested in you as well. However, when he doesn’t phone or text you (like he promised), you persuade yourself that he is shy and insecure and is reluctant to call and ask you out. You try to “help him out” by calling him, but he sounds uninterested and uncommunicative, and he politely declines your invitation to meet for coffee or a drink. Your heart sinks because you are aware that calling him was a fatal error. Or perhaps you were anxious throughout your first date and are worried that you blundered with him. You are concerned that you didn’t show him enough interest, chatted too much, or drank too much. Tell me you aren’t surreptitiously passing by his house or place of employment to keep an eye on him. Girl, stop undervaluing yourself and take control of your insecurities! You set yourself up for significant rejection and disappointment that tears large holes in your self-esteem by pining for a man who doesn’t feel the same way about you. Consider this: there is NO mystery if a new guy is clamouring to have a date with you by barraging you with messages, calls, and emails, shows up at your door unexpectedly, consistently displays kindness to you, and tells you he wants to take you away for the weekend. NO tension exists. There is NO cause for excitement around him.
