Remember that repairing the connection and not deciding who was in the right or wrong is your main concern. Be the first to take steps to reconnection if you want the relationship to change. When Becky made certain remarks to her daughter Jane, she didn’t immediately realise how they were received. She reacted without thinking about how her words could affect her daughter after criticising a decision her daughter had made. She sent Jane a letter in which she begged for forgiveness and praised her daughter for being who she was. Jane first gave Becky the silent treatment, but the letter was crucial in helping her daughter understand that Becky desired a relationship and that her mother valued her more than their argument. Find a different place to agree with your children when you disagree with some of their decisions or the way they govern their household. It’s not necessary for you and your adult children to agree on everything, but you may. The adult daughter of Margie, who was going through a divorce, returned to her house. Although Margie has made an effort to love her daughter, the young woman is aware that Margie is dissatisfied in some of her decisions. Going out to eat has been our point of connection. Margie acknowledges that eating out has improved their connection even if she frequently prefers to stay home. They now have a safe space to converse thanks to it.
