We anticipate happy times filled with love and bonding when families gather together, yet we frequently discover that family disputes can arise at these times. In fact, there are established patterns of interaction and roles that people typically perform within these interactions in the majority of families. How frequently have things gone exactly as you’d hoped they wouldn’t when you knew you were going to meet your family and could anticipate the bothersome or frustrating encounters you could have with specific family members? Have you ever wished there was a remote control for people that featured buttons for pause, rewind, and mute? Every move one person makes in communication affects the decisions of the other, much like in the game of chess. A solid rule of thumb is to refrain from responding to any provocation with what you would typically say. If you typically respond to challenges with challenges, try responding with a question. Link what you have to say to the person’s topic and then switch to another one if you let them talk for a long time and it makes you angry. Instead of standing up when you believe you are being blamed for anything, consider saying.
