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Marta and Makida Ali Birra’s twin daughters

Although it may be a cute little catchphrase, that statement is accurate. It’s not only about what the other person did to you that makes you want to hold a grudge against them. It has to do with what you have permitted to occur to you. Sometimes, because you’re just going along with your routine, you can’t control what happens to you in a relationship. Unless they tell you, you may not always be aware of someone’s anger, resentment, or jealousy toward you. And frequently they wait until a crisis point—often a betrayal—when everything comes to light before they do. Allowing that you didn’t know, didn’t understand, or didn’t behave in a way that could have ended the issue is the act of forgiving oneself. By forgiving yourself, you make room for healing to take the place of hurt and bitterness. You are acting in a way that will correct the course of your life and general wellbeing. Giving forgiveness helps you escape victimhood. The links that tie you negatively to another person are broken by forgiveness. It’s possible to forget while also forgiving. You experienced what occurred. That cannot be disputed. And you shouldn’t try to act like everything is fine again. It’s not. You might choose to forget about someone once you’ve forgiven them. After everything is said and done, that is your decision. The question is whether you will ever be able to trust that person or situation again. Once you are no longer a victim or under the influence of negative energy, you can concentrate on developing your strength, establishing your own integrity, and developing your own character so that you never again allow yourself to be put in a position of awful compromise and suffering. Being forgiven sets you free. It enables you to regain control.

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