A marriage brings together not only two people, but two families, each with its own set of ideas and ways of life. The ensuing connections can be among of life’s richest, but they can also be some of life’s most perplexing for many individuals. Lori Gottlieb, the Atlantic’s “Dear Therapist” columnist, gets a lot of emails regarding in-laws and the problems they might cause. There are problems in every way. Parents have issues with their in-law sons and daughters; in-law sons and daughters have issues with their in-law parents as well as their brothers and sisters-in-law. “You say this is an issue with your husband and your son-in-law,” Lori writes in one piece, “but as you explain it, the issue encompasses the entire family.” Each of you appears to be resentful in your own manner and to varying degrees.” Relationships between two people are already difficult enough. In-law relationships, on the other hand, are formed via the efforts of someone else. These are bonds that bind several people together by their very nature. Any conflict will affect them all, and they will each bring their own set of emotions to it. Lori’s job as an in-law relationship expert is to help her readers through the complexities of in-law relationships. She writes about how to cope with a variety of family members and how to have difficult conversations with each of them, including not only the in-laws who are generating the squabble, but also one’s own husband and other grownups involved. Each conversation necessitates an effort to listen and be heard, as well as opportunity for sorrow, disagreement, and growth and healing. And because these relationships involve so many individuals, any improvement will benefit not just one person and their in-laws, but the entire blended family for centuries to come.
