Be strict with the issue, not the people. You can alter the dynamic of a combat by altering its nature. Quit hurling insults at people in debates. As your relationship ends, using blame, shame, or guilt to persuade your partner to do anything will become less effective because you will both stop making the small accommodations you used to make for one another. Instead of blaming your partner, try to find a solution to the issue. We both have a lot of work to do, so it can be difficult to decide whether or not to sell our home. It would be much better if we could work together to come to a conclusion on this than if you had just made more money while we were married. Take a tongue-bite. Before you speak, pause. Long-term, those few seconds of tongue-biting can prevent a lot of problems. Keep in mind that the issue is not just yours. To resolve this issue and come to a compromise, you need your partner. Honey will catch more flies than vinegar will. A dispute requires two people to exist. A fight cannot occur if you reject the bait to start one.