You can feel the temptation to harm or betray someone back when they have hurt or betrayed you, but trust us when we say it is never a smart idea. Shakespeare is credited as saying, “If you pierce us, do we not bleed? Do we not giggle when you tease us? Do we not perish if you poison us? And if you mistreat us, won’t we want retribution? It could seem logical—even inevitable—to seek revenge. You might imagine that it will also bring about significant pain relief or some type of satisfaction. Sadly, research demonstrates that those who seek vengeance rather than forgiving or letting go tend to feel worse over time. You would be much better off focusing your attention on making positive life changes. I’m sorry to break it to you, but if you consider yourself to be a decent human being, hurting or upsetting someone else—regardless of whether you believe they deserve it or not—might not make you happy. In fact, it might make you feel worse because negative emotions like guilt, anger, and regret tend to stay and weigh heavily on your conscience. Even though you might feel deceived or upset right now, you will ultimately be able to move past those emotions. However, if you carry guilt on your conscience, you are more likely to ruminate about your actions, which makes moving on much more difficult and merely delays your life. “An eye for an eye only results in making the whole world blind,” Gandhi once observed. Consider the effects of your actions; if you seek retribution, you might get in trouble with a teacher or parent. In fact, you might endanger yourself.
