Ever wished you could peek into a man’s head to learn what he’s really contemplating? Women have spent ages attempting to decipher “guy-psyche”—why he didn’t call or why he called you by the name of his ex. But since every man is unique, there isn’t a universal explanation for men’s cryptic tendencies. But research has uncovered a number of unexpected parallels. Whether it’s his reluctance to commit or his love of cuddling, certain emotions make many men shut down rather than open up. They might be the most intricate words in the English language—those “three little words.” While some men prematurely use the “L word” (according to a recent study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, guys tend to say “I love you” first, frequently motivated by the notion that their partner will be more likely to have sex with them), other guys are just not that good at saying the words. Rather, they demonstrate their love through their deeds. How can you be certain? Those actions might be a more accurate reflection of his emotions than any conversation heated by passion. Because men frequently find it more difficult to pick up on subtle relationship cues, your man might not be aware of the point at which your relationship has evolved to a higher expectation of commitment. In fact, even when they appear to enjoy the relationship, some guys worry about growing attached. If men feel that the relationship has moved outside of their comfort zone, they frequently “rubber band,” withdraw, or pull back, according to Firstein. Even if you thought he was moving forward at a similar rate as you were, this new territory can still catch a man off guard.