we lost our 4 year old son
Losing a kid is one of the most traumatic events a person can go through. Though it’s not a typical occurrence in the United States (about 10,000 children aged 1 to 14 died in 2018), the horrible possibility of losing a kid looms large. And, while the figures are comforting, they also demonstrate why the death of a child causes so much sadness, and why it is so feared, painful, and stigmatized. According to Deborah Carr, chair of the sociology department at Boston University, “the death of a child is considered the single worst stressor a person may go through.” “Parents and fathers in particular feel responsible for the well-being of their children. There are numerous particular obstacles for parents grieving the loss of a child, despite the fact that they are experiencing traditional grief responses and the normal battery of psychological, biological, and social effects. The trauma is usually more severe, and the memories and hopes are more difficult to let go of. As a result, the grieving process takes longer, and the risk of repeating or near-constant trauma is much higher. “When a kid dies, the individual and the family face a variety of unique and ongoing issues. “Everyday inquiries like ‘How many kids do you have?’ can cause a lot of distress,” says Fiona MacCullum, a University of Queensland lecturer. “Some people do discover ways to cope with their grief.” Others are looking for significance in their lives.”