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Respect, open communication, and a decent sense of humor will go a long way toward ensuring that your second marriage lasts a lifetime. While many couples consider remarriage to be a second chance at happiness, statistics show otherwise. The divorce rate for second marriages in the United States is above 60%, according to available Census statistics, compared to roughly 50% for first marriages. Why do second marriages have a higher chance of failing? One explanation is the establishment of blended families, which can lead to conflicts with stepchildren’s allegiance and rivalry between co-parents, but remarriage also brings with it a slew of additional challenges and tensions. Beating the odds requires a foundation of trust and connection.
Everyone carries luggage.
When people remarry, they frequently transfer toxic relationship patterns and trust concerns from their previous marriage into the new relationship, which can destroy it. This baggage can sometimes lead to couples rushing into marriage without properly getting to know each other.
For example, if your past spouse betrayed you, you may be skeptical of your current partner and lack faith in them.
Kayla phrased it this way: “I’m already questioning Jake when he’s late from work — full of suspicion and accusations,” she paused. Kayla was clearly having trouble trusting Jake as a result of her ex-adultery. husband’s
Make Yourself Vulnerable
It’s understandable that a fear of vulnerability can be a genuine problem in a second marriage, but failing to share our deepest feelings, ideas, and desires can really put a relationship at risk by robbing us of the trust and intimacy that vulnerability provides.
Although being vulnerable with your partner can make you feel exposed, it is an essential component of a trusting, intimate connection. Dr. Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, danger, and emotional openness” in her book Daring Greatly. Given this notion, loving someone and allowing them to love you could be the most dangerous thing you can do. “Life tends to go better for people who have the guts to trust others,” argues Dr. John Gottman in What Makes Love Last?
Establish Reasonable Expectations
Recognize that there will be ups and downs in your remarried life. New love is a beautiful feeling, but it does not compensate for the agony of divorce or return the family to its former standing. “On the contrary, remarriage will present [couples] with a number of unanticipated design difficulties such as loyalty binds, the breakdown of parenting roles, and the combining of divergent family cultures,” says stepfamily specialist Maggie Scarf. Interpersonal communication is a critical topic for remarried couples to solve. This is particularly true when it comes to money, how to discipline children and stepchildren, personality issues in the newly formed family, and family rivalries.

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