Have you anytime known a hitched couple that essentially didn’t seem like they should fit together — yet they are both happy in the marriage, and you can’t figure out why?
I’m mindful of one couple: He is a strong ex-contender who, just as being a productive agent, coaches Little League, is dynamic in his Rotary Club, and plays golf every Saturday with sidekicks. Then, his better half is modest, tranquil, and an absolute shut-in. She doesn’t like to go out to dinner.
What perplexing force drives us into the arms of one individual while pushing us away from another who may appear comparatively alluring to any fair observer?
Of the various components affecting really the for us superb mate, perhaps the most telling, according to John Money, teacher emeritus of clinical cerebrum exploration and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, is what he calls our “veneration map” — a social affair of messages encoded to us that portrays our inclinations. It shows our tendencies in hair and eye tone, in voice, smell, body develop. It moreover records such a character that advances to us, whether or not it’s the warm and pleasing sort or the strong, calm sort.
To lay it out simply, we surrender to and seek after those people who most obviously fit our friendship map. Likewise, this warmth map is for the most part chosen in youth.
By age eight, the model for our ideal mate has viably begun to skim around in our frontal cortexes.