Sleepless in Seattle was my favorite romantic comedy as a child. The lesson was obvious: if you could meet them, there would be a magical person out there. When you first touched, you would instantly know. Your guy would adore you because of all these bothersome qualities, not because of them, even though they annoyed all of your past beaus. Conversely, he would be flawless. His skin would be silky like that of a seal. Not even that he would chew too loudly. We weren’t helped by rom-coms because there isn’t a single “perfect” man in the world. One of the many mistakes that I, along with other single women, have made in our relationship pursuits is to expect and pursue this. Despite looking like a potato and having maxed out three credit cards, my friend Amelia anticipated that her next significant relationship would be with a wealthy, attractive, and physically fit man. She believed she should have that. Her pals had been telling her for years, “You’re such a terrific catch! You’re worthy of it!” bullshit. Please don’t imagine that I oppose women supporting other women. Not me. Although I also adore Amelia, I don’t think it’s a good idea to push someone to pursue a relationship for just petty motives. Character is far more important than wealth, prestige, or good appearance. We need to be practical when considering our desires. We are fallible human beings. Should someone choose to work with us indefinitely.
