Some experiences in my life have stuck with me throughout the years because of the goodwill of friends. During particularly trying times, comforting things like a timely embrace or someone’s time to listen have helped. I hope that if you’ve experienced a few challenging chapters, you’ll be able to say the same. Every encounter gives us a bit more insight into the practice of proactive caregiving. I use the “what helped me” method as one strategy when trying to support a buddy who is in pain. I consider how someone cheered me up and how they made me feel. Then, I consider my friend’s preferences, dislikes, personality, and the particular circumstance they’re in. If you find it difficult as an adult to offer condolences, imagine how much more challenging it could be for teenagers. I got a range of reactions because I was a child. Another girl phoned me on the phone, her mother prompting her to apologize awkwardly, but she left me with a remembrance of her daring kindness. Attempts at humor from others provided me with a moment of emotional relief. Certain children that I had known for many years remained mute, refusing to acknowledge the events that befell my brother or our family. My aunt decided to reach out to our youth pastor with a small lesson on caring, as he had never reached out, even though he was our youth pastor. We prefer to call this church here in the South.
