Many couples skip this stage, which is independent of the other, to the cost of their subsequent marriage. You spend a few years (not usually, but frequently) getting to know one another, developing your communication skills, and exchanging personal aspirations, dreams, values, and anecdotes during the Deep Friendship Stage. At this point, you might be wondering: What makes you laugh? What enrages you? What kind of family do you envision? What is your approach to handling money? What are your aspirations for your career? What city and why do you want to live in? Now is the moment to try showing each other a great deal of kindness in your touch, words, and deeds. Numerous long-term studies on relationships have shown that kindness is a critical component that not only helps marriages endure challenging times. Although being kind should always be at the top of a person’s list of qualities in a spouse, I’ve highlighted kindness in this stage since it’s when you and your partner start to recognize each other’s inclinations when things get tight. While the friendship is still in its early stages, this is the perfect moment to learn the gestures of kindness. Kindness is something that can be learned and practiced. You’re starting to see trends and pose more perceptive questions to yourself about the person you’re dating, like: Why do people make the friends that they do, or don’t make the friends that they do? How does he or she handle misinterpreted situations with friends, coworkers, and family members? Is the person I care about forthcoming and honest, or evasive and reticent?
