Congratulations! You are flawless, or at least you think you are, if you can’t recall the last time you said sorry. For the remainder of us, saying sorry is a normal—if challenging—part of life. Saying sorry is one of the first lessons taught to kids, but these abilities don’t always translate well into adulthood. In relationships, there is frequently some degree of guilt shared by both partners. But the greatest barrier to apologetic joy isn’t a convoluted debate; rather, it’s self-defense instincts. Apologies that are genuine are infamously difficult to find, in part due to an innate reluctance to offer them in the first place. People are reluctant to apologize because they mistakenly think it will harm their reputation with others. Apologizing is seen by some as a sign of weakness and a decline in social standing; others believe it damages one’s reputation. Conversely, a well-executed apology has the power to strengthen bonds between parties and elevate the apologizer’s status in the eyes of the recipient. There are some more psychological obstacles that keep people from saying sorry. The most important of them is the desire to think well of yourself and to be regarded as morally upright by others. It’s normal to go into self-protection mode and deceive yourself into thinking you done nothing wrong when someone is furious with you. People frequently refuse to apologize because their self-defence mechanisms take over and they justify their actions with a variety of justifications.
