We are drawn to interactions with people who express the aspects of us that we haven’t yet discovered and accepted. Our partnerships seem to be an unconscious attempt at self-completion. These partnerships are marked by emotions of completeness and typically involve intense attraction at initially. However, they eventually become paralyzed by powerful connection patterns that emerge when individuals become trapped in relating to each other from a primary aspect of themselves that bonds with the opposite in the other person. We refer to this as “bonding patterns.” Thus, a caring woman can become a “nurturing mother” to her partner’s inner “needy son,” while an extremely responsible guy might become a “responsible father” with regard to his partner’s inner “pleasant daughter.” The lady will depend on her partner to be responsible if she doesn’t realize that she has a responsibility of her own. Additionally, he will desire to be nurtured by her if he is unable to connect with his nurturing side. However, these bonding patterns take a bad turn and the partners turn against one another when tensions and vulnerabilities occur in the relationship. I am so happy that I discovered bonding patterns since knowing them not only makes a big difference in my relationship, but they also serve as a roadmap for the aspects of myself that I have lost touch with.
