Perhaps you have an intense independence or self-sufficiency. You either never learned to be interdependent with your spouse or you’ve had to fend for yourself at some point in your life, which makes it difficult for you to rely on someone else. Maybe you’ve never seen what a solid marriage looks like. If your upbringing was marred by divorce, you likely lacked a strong role model for wholesome relationships. And for that reason, it may be more difficult to envision and embody the gift of connection in marriage. Perhaps you’re getting used to a new role new parent, new work, new residence, or taking care of an aging parent. When you engage in secret sins like infidelity, drug misuse, or pornography, you may find it difficult to build strong relationships. Alternatively, you could fight selfishness by concentrating on yourself and your goals. Your marriage may seem risky to you. There may be a lot of tension, sarcasm, disdain, and abuse, among other things. It’s possible that you shy away from all forms of intimacy because you find it difficult to trust others and feel emotionally vulnerable. Maybe in your marriage, you have trouble striking a work-life balance. It’s possible that you and your partner haven’t discussed long-term goals together. You’re not working toward a common goal for your union and your joint life.
